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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23416936">let's get lost</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama'>thisismelodrama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, F/M, Hospital Sex, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rough Sex, Unsafe Sex, fuck buddies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:00:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23416936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Rey should’ve known better. </p><p>She knows the trope. When she was a teenager trying to distract herself from her shitty foster homes, she watched thousands of rom-coms with the same storyline, and they all started and ended the same way, and yet…</p><p> </p><p>  <b>I deleted the second chapter and edited as it being the first chapter. This fic is on HIATUS at the moment.</b></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>let's get lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! I am nervous about posting this because this fic isn't complete yet, but I have so many WIPs right now I decide to say FUCK IT! and post it anyway. This fic is inspired by No Strings Attached, Love &amp; Other Drugs and Grey's Anatomy (kinda!). I won't focus too much on the hospital life because I am not a doctor and I know nothing about medicine, this is purely fiction and... porn. So bear with me while we go on this ride! </p><p>Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, as this will help me to know if people are interested on the story!</p><p>Maddy, thanks for being an amazing beta! </p><p>Thank you for the beautiful moodboard, <a href="http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore">@bensoloswhore</a>!</p><p> </p><p> </p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In retrospect, Rey should’ve known better. </p><p> </p><p>She knows the trope. When she was a teenager trying to distract herself from her shitty foster homes, she watched thousands of rom-coms with the same storyline, and they all started and ended the same way, and yet…</p><p> </p><p>And yet Rey <em> knows </em>she’s the one at fault here. She set her own trap and led herself into this. </p><p> </p><p>Because lately, she thinks things have been different. Maybe. Maybe there are lingering touches and sweet kisses. Maybe there are beseeching eyes staring back at her with emotions that she can’t quite name yet, him moving painfully slowly when he pushes inside her—and it wasn’t like that in the beginning. Before, it was dirty words thrown at each other, it was filthy things done to one another, it was rough sex in a variety of positions that she was always down to try even if they required a flexibility she never possessed. Before, it was just two people that worked too much, two lonely and extremely socially inept people who found someone to scratch an itch, fulfilling a biological need. And that was that. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe she’s imagining it all. It is possible she made up the difference between how he fucked her <em> then </em> and how things are between them <em> now </em> in her head—because even though she has been denying it for a while, she is in <em> love </em> with him and this just makes everything too complicated. It makes her see things that aren’t real. It makes her wish things were different from their agreement, and it was never going to work. He just doesn’t see her like <em> that. </em> Doesn’t <em> want </em>her like that. </p><p> </p><p>And it’s <em> fine</em>, she tells herself everyday, when her mind starts wandering… And she thinks about things couples do when they are a <em> real </em> couple and she starts wishing… Daydreams and fantasies that only wound her heart. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes she wishes she’s never met him at all. Not all these years ago back in that stupid camp in Jakku, not right now as adults who obviously shouldn’t have been fucking each other in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>Rey feels so incredibly stupid for ever thinking she would leave this mess unscarred.</p><p> </p><p>She hears the slow <em> thump-thump-thump </em> of his heart against her ear and braces herself for what she’s been trying to say ever since he came to her apartment. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t even planning on having sex with him again, but he has a way of <em>looking </em>at her that makes her toes curl and her heart beat faster and she <em>knows </em>it’s all inside her head and she shouldn’t react to him like that, but he pulls her towards him and kisses her again, and again and again. And he’s so <em>good</em> at kissing. His lips look like they have been carved by the gods with the only intent of tempting mere mortals with sinful thoughts. One thing leads to another, and there they are, god knows how many hours later, in the same place they did it for the second time—the <em>first</em> <em>real</em> time, if she’s really counting—, except there’s a whole lot of feelings now, and the ache she feels in her chest with the possibility of having her heart broken is <em>too much </em>for her to bear. It’s just not possible that he feels the same for her, and she has known that from the start. They had an agreement and she’s the only one to blame. The only one who broke the rules she so carefully established.</p><p> </p><p>So, she takes a deep breath and says, “I think we should stop having sex.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>8 Months Earlier</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s a rainy day in Coruscant when Rey starts working at Coruscant Memorial Hospital. She <em> loves </em> the rain, though. Having lived in Jakku for most of her life, the rain was something she experienced just a few times. She walks under her umbrella through the puddles of water on the sidewalk and extends her right hand to let a few droplets pool on her palm. She was so scared of starting over in a big city, miles away from everyone she knew her entire life. Not that she had many people that would miss her. It’s just that, even after all these years, she still held onto the hope that maybe someday her parents were coming back. It wasn’t reasonable and it wasn’t logical, but Rey had been holding onto things for so long, she always had a hard time letting go. </p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t miss the symbolism of the rain washing away all of her foolish longings, the ones she hid deep inside herself, as she begins a new chapter of her life and focuses on becoming a brand new version of herself. A version of herself that doesn’t even think about family or belonging anymore. </p><p> </p><p>She is hopeful about starting over.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>+</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Holdo was the one who interviewed her for the job, and she is the one who welcomed her and showed Rey her new office. It’s the first time she has had an office of her own since finishing her residency in Jakku, and she’s so euphoric about it that she has a hard time hiding it. Her excitement is written all over her face, and Dr. Holdo doesn’t fail to notice it.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re so excited to have you here, Dr. Johnson,” Dr. Holdo tells her, with a warm smile and a soft voice. </p><p> </p><p>When they talked over Skype, Rey wondered how it would be possible for such a gentle woman to run a hospital, but now seeing the way she talks and her posture, she realizes she’s so centered and self-confident, and that probably helps to calm others in stressful situations. She’s extremely elegant, too, wearing a red long sleeve midi dress, a lab coat and wedge heels, her blonde hair in a tight, neat ponytail. She’s the definition of sophisticated, making Rey feel doubtful about coming to work in dark denim jeans, a simple white button up shirt and her favorite pair of boots. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve heard so many great things from your previous supervisors.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey almost frowns, because the idea of Plutt having anything <em> good </em>to say about her after making her life a living hell when she was a resident at Niima Outpost Hospital is preposterous. Still, she’s not gonna complain about being complimented on her hard work, even if the person giving the compliments is a tremendous asshole. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Dr. Holdo. I’m really glad to be here, and I can’t wait to start attending to patients.”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Holdo smiles. “Anyway, I’m gonna leave you alone to settle down. Welcome to our team.” </p><p> </p><p>Rey smiles back and watches her walk towards the door, only for her to stop, turn around and say, “Almost forgot! We’re going to have a small gathering after we’re off the clock for you to meet the other attendings.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey feels slightly anxious and insecure about this. Meeting people was never her forte, but she smiles politely and thanks Dr. Holdo for the warm welcome anyway.</p><p> </p><p>But she decides to ignore things that she can worry about later and starts decorating the office for her future patients. She got lucky with this one, or maybe it was just Dr. Holdo's doing, but her office is a bright, vivid yellow that she likes and will probably give a sense of cheerfulness to the children and adolescents that come there. Rey puts a ton of Disney stickers on the wall, and a few frames of handcrafted art from her previous patients. There’s a small wood desk in the corner close to the door with two small chairs and she puts a few papers and crayons on top of it. She sets down a foam floor alphabet and numbers puzzle mat and some stuffed animals. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>+</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Rey is a pile of nerves by the time she finishes her first day of work, but not because of work itself. It wasn’t anything hectic, just a few children doing monthly check-ups, first-time mothers and their newborn babies worried about why they were crying too much. But she didn’t mind helping ease their worries, and coddling babies was always the nicest part of her job. It was good to be resourceful and do what she studied and worked so hard for. Rey felt good about her first day, until she remembered the small gathering that she was kinda obliged to attend, and where she would be the center of attention. </p><p> </p><p>But she powers through and makes her way to the break room. After ten minutes wandering in the hospital and entering the wrong corridors and rooms, she finally finds it. There’s a bunch of people there already, and when Dr. Holdo spots her in the doorway, she asks for everyone’s attention and says, “This is our new pediatrician, Dr. Rey Johnson!”</p><p> </p><p>Wow. What a way to be introduced and have every single person in the room just <em> staring </em> at her. Rey smiles nervously and waves her hand awkwardly, and then she scans the room to memorize the faces of the people she will be working with closely for, hopefully, a long time. </p><p> </p><p>It’s that moment that she sees a man—he is definitely the tallest person in there, and it’s impossible not to notice him because he just stands out in the crowd with his broad shoulders, muscular frame, pale complexion and black hair. He’s one of the few wearing scrubs and a lab coat, but he’s... <em>handsome. </em> Unconventionally so. And if Rey thought people were <em> staring </em> before, when she locks eyes with him, she realizes he’s straight up <em> glowering </em> at her, and she just… His light brown eyes are so warm even though his entire face is contorted in a scowl and she <em> can’t </em> look away. </p><p> </p><p>It takes a few minutes for him to give up on the weird staring contest he swamped her into, and then people walk towards her and introduce themselves. Rey focuses on them and the spell is gone. She learns people’s names and their specialties—a few of them more friendly, like Rose Tico (Ob-Gyn) and Kaydel Ko Connix (Plastic Surgery), and others not so much, like Gwen Phasma (Cardio)—, so when Dr. Holdo steps in to introduce him, Rey does her best to smile politely and extends her hand for him to shake. </p><p> </p><p>He stares at her hand hanging in the air for a beat too long, and then he finally shakes it. </p><p> </p><p>“Ben Solo. Emergency physician,” he tells her in a deep voice. </p><p> </p><p>And <em> god</em>, his voice makes Rey’s stomach flip. She keeps holding onto his hand like an idiot, until she remembers herself and says, “Rey Johnson. Pediatrician.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a weird energy between them and Rey can’t quite explain <em> why</em>, but she feels like she knows him from somewhere, but as she searches her mind to find out <em> where</em>, she doesn’t remember. He doesn’t look like someone she’d forget if she’d actually met him before, and he <em> definitely </em>isn’t someone who would ever go to the god-forsaken Jakku, right? </p><p> </p><p>Dr. Holdo breaks the spell of… <em> whatever </em> the fuck is going on. “Dr. Solo is one of the finest physicians of the city, if not <em> the </em> finest,” she says proudly with a smile. “We are so lucky to have him on our team.”</p><p> </p><p>He only nods, completely unfazed by their boss’ praise. Then his pager beeps and he takes it out of his lab coat and looks at it with a frown on his face. He glances at her for one last time and she swallows at the intensity of his stare. He excuses himself politely and steps away from her and Dr. Holdo and she lets out an exhale like she’s been holding her breath for a while.</p><p> </p><p>She glances around and it’s surprising to see people are still chatting and eating and haven’t noticed how he just <em> stared </em> at her. Their whole exchange wasn’t even acknowledged as strange by Dr. Holdo who was <em> right there</em>. </p><p> </p><p>Is this how he behaves with everyone, so that’s why people weren’t even bothered? Did she really make that bad of an impression on him during their first meeting for him to react like that?</p><p> </p><p><em> Ugh. What a fucking weirdo</em>, she thinks. Rey decides not to dwell on it that much and vows to herself to stay away from him as much as she can. </p><p> </p><p>It’s a big hospital, anyway, and it’s not like they will cross paths frequently. </p><p> </p><p>Rey turns her attention to the people who are there trying to make her feel welcome and starts talking to her fellow coworkers. He doesn’t return to the break room, and after a while, she forgets he was even there in the first place. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>+</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rey regrets saying that as soon as the words are out of her mouth. She feels Ben stiffen beneath her and he inhales a deep breath, like he’s trying to calm himself. He was holding her a minute ago—a rare moment of coziness and cuddling post-coitus— and he drops his arms to the sides. She already misses the warmth of his arms wrapping around her. </p><p> </p><p>God, what the fuck has she done?</p><p> </p><p>She opens her mouth to take it back, and maybe confess that she likes him <em> a lot </em> instead, but he beats her to it. </p><p> </p><p>“Is there…” he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, and when he opens them, he clears her throat. “Is there something wrong?”</p><p> </p><p><em> Yes</em>. <em> There is. I am in love with you. And I’m scared because I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I joked about it with you and I broke my own rules and that makes me feel dumb and pathetic and I know you don’t feel the same way and I just don’t want to have my heart broken, but it seems like it’s too late for that now.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Rey doesn’t say any of that. Instead, she gets off of him and sits on the bed. His eyes stray to her breasts involuntarily and she covers herself on instinct—feeling incredibly self-conscious all of sudden, even if he was deep inside her a few minutes ago and she can still feel his cum dripping out of her. She swallows and looks at his eyes. And it’s the wrong thing to do because he seems to be… Is he <em> hurt? </em>Because she wants to break things off?</p><p> </p><p>It’s not possible. </p><p> </p><p>Rey is aware Ben isn’t the most sociable person ever. In fact, he’s always brooding and always intimidating everyone at the hospital with the permanent scowl on his face and his very bad mood swings. She knows he <em> barely </em> gets along with his best friend, Tai. And he mostly just <em> tolerates </em> Armitage and Gwen. Rey always thought he sent a clear message to everyone around him: to stay away because he’s not interested in engaging with people more than he has to. She is certain he doesn’t go out to meet new people. He is <em> unapproachable</em>. And the fact that <em> she </em> ignored all of this and approached him… </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps that’s why he’s looking at her like she betrayed him or something, because even if she knows they shouldn’t have started this, she can’t deny they are <em> great </em> at fucking each other. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he will miss the sex. </p><p> </p><p>The idea would flatter her if she wasn’t feeling like pure shit right now. </p><p> </p><p>She focuses on looking to a point on the wall of her bedroom, not having the courage and strength to glance up at him. “I—I just think that…”</p><p> </p><p>Ben doesn’t even let her finish her thought. He nods and turns her back to her and bends down to pick up his jeans and briefs on the floor. She watches his broad shoulders, the strong muscles on his back while he’s getting dressed and fights the urge to crawl to him and hold him there.</p><p> </p><p><em>Bloody hell</em>, she’s a mess.</p><p> </p><p>She wants to take it back. She wants to turn back time, just the last five minutes and not say anything at all. She wants to say something, <em> anything </em>, to stop this. But her mouth is dry, there’s a lump in her throat and she just… can’t get the words out.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben, can you just—” she tries, her voice cracking. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to say anything. I understand perfectly, Dr. Johnson,” he replies in a harsh tone that makes her recoil. </p><p> </p><p>Being called Dr. Johnson with such detachment and indifference, when just an hour ago he was whispering how much he loved being inside her—it’s a slap to the face. And even though it hurts, she knows she deserves it. She brought this on herself. </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” she starts. “But I still think that I should—” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” he cuts her off. He’s completely dressed now and it’s like he just <em> can’t </em>wait to get out of there. </p><p> </p><p>To finally be rid of her. </p><p> </p><p>Rey remembers last week when he texted her asking if she was still up and if she wanted to see him. She had already realized her feelings for him were stronger than what she thought they really were and every time he texted her, her heart beat just a bit faster. There was something different that night, though. He sounded so insecure about coming over. And maybe he was sad about his workday. Maybe he wanted to just <em> see </em> her and talk to her, have an actual conversation, one that didn’t end with his hands down her underwear and his fingers deep inside her cunt. </p><p> </p><p>When he finally showed up to her apartment after a thirteen-hour shift, he picked her up in his arms and took her to the bedroom—and <em> yes</em>, Rey wanted to talk to him and ask what was wrong and if he was okay, but he always had a way to make her lose herself in his kisses, in his arms. And to her, that night, there were distinct signs that something shifted. Not for him, of course, but definitely for her. </p><p> </p><p>Rey knows now that she misinterpreted the way he looked at her. She knows that she misinterpreted the way he said he would never get enough of her, that making her come over and over again was his oasis and that he wanted to do that every day. And she knows she misinterpreted the way he took more time than he usually does to get dressed and leave. Everything he said, it was all in the spur of the moment. Just sex talk. Really, <em> really </em>good sex talk. </p><p> </p><p>But that’s all. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Rey did the right thing. She protected herself from getting more attached. She protected herself from something that would end and only bring her pain. Maybe she did them both a favor. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see myself out,” he tells her, his voice taking her out of her reverie. </p><p> </p><p>In an instant, he’s gone. And he didn’t even look back at her.  </p><p> </p><p>Rey just remains seated on her bed, burning a hole into the door of her bedroom, holding the sheets tighter against her chest. She doesn’t know how long she stays like that. She gets up eventually,goes to the bathroom, and turns on the shower. She lingers under the spray of water for way too long, wishing that she could manage to wash away his scent and everything else that happened in the past few months. </p><p> </p><p>When she goes to bed that night, she’s definitely sure she did them both a favor. It would never have worked out and they weren’t meant for each other, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“It's going to be okay,” she mutters to herself in the quiet of her bedroom. </p><p> </p><p>His face is the last thing she sees when she closes her eyes to sleep.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong> + </strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>6 Months Earlier</em></b>
</p><p> </p><p>Two months go by until Rey has finally adapted to the big city. She finished unpacking the rest of her stuff during that weekend, and her apartment is at last organized and somewhat livable. Life in the hospital isn’t going badly, either, and it’s not long until she’s also used to her routine and the crazy hours—not that her schedule is as challenging as a few of her other coworkers. Compared to them, things are usually pretty chill on her side of the hospital. </p><p> </p><p>But despite Rey thinking and wishing she wouldn’t cross paths with Dr. Solo frequently, in the two months she’s been working there, just the opposite happens, because <em> of fucking course. </em> Seriously, she thinks the universe is out to play pranks on her, because the man is <em> everywhere. </em> </p><p> </p><p>And it’s not like he changed his arrogant attitude around her. <em> No</em>. He continues to be the same insufferable asshole, <em> always </em> glaring at her every time they see each other at staff meetings or the weekly conferences Dr. Holdo demands that everyone attend.  </p><p> </p><p>And they bump into each other in the corridors at least twice a week, and apparently she likes to have lunch at the same time as he does, so there was more than one occasion when they stood near each other in the cafeteria line, even though they quickly parted ways once they bought what they wanted. He usually sat alone or with Dr. Phasma and Dr. Hux, whereas Rey, surprisingly enough and despite her initial nervousness, managed to get closer and started to hang out with Dr. Connix, Dr. Tico and Dr. Dameron, having lunch with them more often than not. </p><p> </p><p>Every now and then, Rey could feel eyes staring at her from afar in the cafeteria—and every time she turned around, he looked away. Sometimes, she could swear she saw a faint blush on his cheeks. The mere concept of someone as pompous and stuck-up as him, the star of Coruscant Memorial Hospital doing something so mundane as <em> blushing </em>seems so ludicrous that Rey lets out a laugh, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s so funny, Rey?” Rose asks. </p><p> </p><p>Now it’s her turn to blush for <em> real</em>. “Oh, nothing. Just remembered something a patient told me today.”</p><p> </p><p>“God, I don’t think I could ever work with kids,” Kaydel chimes in, wrinkling her nose. “I just don’t have the patience.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or tact,” Rose adds.</p><p> </p><p>“Or maturity to not be annoyed at them,” Poe offers.</p><p> </p><p>Kaydel rolls her eyes at them and throws a french fry at Poe. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, enough, I know I am not fit to deal with children, <em> ha ha ha</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey laughs and without thinking says, “I am used to dealing with kids, I’ve done it my whole life.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose frowns. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p><em> Bollocks. </em> </p><p> </p><p>It’s not that Rey is ashamed of being an orphan who lived most of her life in crowded foster homes. It’s just that this is a part of her life that she would like to keep in the past. She recognizes that she has always kept things to herself, always suppressing her emotions and having her guard up. It’s hard for her to open up, especially to people she’s just met. </p><p> </p><p>It was a slip up. </p><p> </p><p>Still, they’re looking at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. </p><p> </p><p>“I, uh,” She clears her throat, looks down at her tray of food. “I’ve been in a lot of foster homes. Sometimes I was the only one who was old enough to take care of the younger ones.”</p><p> </p><p>As it happened before, Rey expects them to look at her with sad eyes and pity her. But when she looks up to face them, there’s just understanding and acceptance. It warms her heart. </p><p> </p><p>Rose gives her a wide, sweet smile. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad you’ve taken your experiences growing up and turned them into your profession. And you're great at that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Kaydel agrees. “Like I've said, dude, I wouldn’t handle it as well as you do.”</p><p> </p><p>“We get it, Kaydel,” Rose says, rolling her eyes. “You don’t like kids.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do like their moms, though,” Kaydel retorts, a mischievous smile on her face. She leans over and whispers, “Got any single hot mom’s numbers to share?”</p><p> </p><p>Rose wrinkles her nose in disgust. </p><p> </p><p>“Why would you even want to date someone who’s about to have a child?” Poe inquires. “That’s just plain dumb, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Dameron,” Kaydel tells him. “I just want to help them.” </p><p> </p><p>“And how would you do that?” Poe asks her. </p><p> </p><p>“Multiple orgasms, of course,” Kaydel answers. </p><p> </p><p>Rose shakes her head. “Disgusting.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Poe agrees. “Stay away from Rose’s patients, you heathen.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Please</em>,” Rose adds.</p><p> </p><p>Kaydel sticks her tongue out at Poe, and it’s his time to throw another french fry at her. They continue to make faces at each other and Rey laughs out loud at their bickering. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes stray over to the table in the corner of the cafeteria without meaning to and just like she thinks: Dr. Solo is, once again, <em> glowering </em>at her. He seems furious, as usual. Maybe he’s annoyed at how loud she laughed, maybe he’s annoyed that she interrupted his quiet, calm lunch alone. Rey averts her eyes, embarrassed, and stops laughing. Her coworkers are already engaging in another conversation and didn’t seem to have noticed what happened just now, which is good. </p><p> </p><p>Rey <em> knows </em> she shouldn’t care that much, because if the last two months of little-to-no interactions between them has proved anything, it’s that he is an <em> insufferable prick</em>. He probably hates everyone in the hospital with the exception of Dr. Holdo, Dr. Phasma and Dr. Hux, so she’s not a special case. And in  reality, it’s not like being hated by someone who seriously forgot the meaning of the word <em> politeness </em> and always leaves his manners at home is a bad thing. In fact, it’s <em> totally </em> fine, she tells herself everyday. <em> It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, I don’t care— </em></p><p> </p><p>But deep down, the idea of someone as high-esteemed and successful as Dr. Solo <em> hating </em>her just… makes her stomach turn. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, when she lets her guard down, in the safety of the dark in her bedroom, the idea of being hated by that man keeps her up at night. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come say hi to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/gvnegirI">Twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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